John & Lindsey

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Hospice Pages's a cold and rainy Tuesday here on the island. I still haven't been able to print up the missing pages, but that can wait for now. I have been rewriting and editing my hospice notes for the last couple of days. I don't even remember writing all of it, but am so glad I did because I would never have remembered half of it if I hadn't. I was retyping the September 18th pages, the day Sean died. I had my little melt down and have stopped, with two pages more to go. I'll finish it later tonight or tomorrow. It's brutal and beautiful in it's own way. To witness a death, to have the faith that they get to go to the most magnificent place, the privilege and honor of being with your child coming into the world and being there when they leave is such a tender burden. It's so tough to revisit it in print, but it's not like I don't think about it all the time anyway. Much more writing to do, a little every day.

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