It's another Aloha Friday, and I've made it through the week, excited about writing. I rewrote/edited 38 pages this week, writing a couple of hours every day. What I've remembered is how much I enjoy the practice of writing and the satisfaction that comes with it. Going to Catholic school in the 60's encouraged good penmanship and gave out plastic statues of Jesus or Mary as prizes. I always wanted the prize and usually got it. I still write in my best cursive, even for shopping lists.
I hit a bit of a snag on Wednesday when there were 2 pages missing from my draft. I was rooting around in my desk and found 6 discettes...I think that's what they're called, and they are all marked with "Out Of Breath" and they are old. Probably at least 10 years old. I can't even print them off my computer. I do think I will find my missing pages and will take them into town tomorrow and see if I can get anyone to print them up. That was my gift this week.
My fear of the writing, going there, has faded away. In the meantime, I'll start writing this week about Sean's last month. I have a notebook to work off from. That's the hardest time for me, yet I'm good with revisiting it.
Have a spectacular weekend. Aloha

I REMEMBER...

Aloha...as I go through the pages, I'm struck by the blessings a terminal illness brings. The kindness, the prayers, the love fest...all this positive energy that Sean inspired. It wasn't all doom and sadness. His life was not all doom and sadness. He brought out the best in everyone he ever met, including his mom. And geez, did we laugh! We had major, serious fun along the way. I remember a terrible medical emergency, on Thanksgiving night on Martha's Vineyard where Sean had to be air-lifted by a coast guard cutter to Boston's Children's Hospital. While we were waiting for the transport, Sean was wrapped up in a silver blanket and bag, with his little head sticking out. I thought he looked like a giant baked potato. We started laughing so hard we both had tears coming down our cheeks. Of course, the nurses thought we were nuts. We had this secret language, shared glances over something happening without having to say a word...whole conversations with just one look. Our ever-expanding circle of friends and family who loved us and surrounded us with that love. Such a lovely gift! I try and carry that with me always and have such gratitude for it.

DAY TWO

Aloha...it's late Sunday night and I just finished Page 10. Doing ok so far, and only a little teary a couple of times. Rewriting 10 pages took longer than I thought, but am so glad to have gotten
through it in one piece. I was going through some of the pages earlier and there is a big chunk missing around the 100th page. I've been schlepping this thing around with me for about 12 years. No wonder there are things missing from it. That will be the challenge. If there is anyone out there who would like to read what I am working on and I can figure out how to email from word perfect, I'd be grateful for the feedback.
It was a lovely weekend with John, relaxed and easy. We played tennis this afternoon, and although my right arm is throbbing (recent tendinitis, or Tennis Elbow I'm told), was glad to get out of the house and run around a bit.
Have a lovely week and I'll keep you posted.

OUT OF BREATH, Day One

Happy Saturday! Today I cracked open the manuscript. I took out the first ten pages, sat down at the computer and started re-typing it, making small changes here and there and looking at notes I had written some time ago. Why is that first step so hard to do? Sometimes I can be so detached from it, reading it, and other times the tears start piling up and I can't even go there.
I'm going to try and work on 6-10 pages a day, hoping it won't be so overwhelming if I do it in small chunks. So far so good. I stopped in the middle of the 6th page, and might do some work later on tonight after John goes to bed. Being a night owl has it's benefits and I always did like to write at night.
Thanks again for the support and the comments. I feel like my little world has expanded a little.
John and I are off in a half hour for our regular drive down to the beach to watch the sunset and the paddlers.

Let's Get Started

Welcome to my first post, this Aloha Friday evening with the rain lightly falling down. Friday evenings here seem like a Friday evening...know what I mean? Today I connected up with a web site called What Women Write. They were asking readers to write their opening sentences of their work. I got a nauseous feeling in my gut, where I always do when I think about the work, pull out the work, actually write something, stare at the work. Something made me write my first two sentences and press send. I checked out the site a couple of hours later and actually had good feedback from one writer. I burst out in tears. Yikes! So this day, I'm committing to working on the piece, getting help, letting others read it, and trying to find a local writing group that meets on the weekend. I'll be chronicling the journey and if you want to come along, I'd love your company. Aloha